Available Now: Told “Everything’s Normal”? Why That Might Not Be True—And What You Can Do About It with Kathy Kates, FNP-BC

by Pelihealth | Ask The Expert, Pelvic Pain, Pelvic Power Hour

If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling like your concerns were brushed off with a smile and a vague “everything looks normal,” you’re not alone.

You might still be dealing with confusing symptoms—low libido, hormonal fluctuations, pelvic pain, bladder leaks, or discomfort during sex. You might feel like you’re being dramatic or imagining things. But deep down, you know something isn’t right.

This is the reality for millions of women.
And it’s exactly why we sat down with Kathy Kates, FNP-BC, in our latest on-demand interview: “Told ‘Everything’s Normal’? Learn the Truth About Pelvic Health.”

Kathy is a board-certified family nurse practitioner, a breast cancer survivor, and the creator of Beyond the Kegel™, an evidence-informed program that’s changing how providers and patients alike approach pelvic, sexual, and hormone health.

But before we dive into the wisdom Kathy shares, let’s zoom out for a moment.

What Is Pelvic Health, and Why Does It Matter?

When people hear “pelvic health,” they often think of Kegels, postpartum recovery, or maybe incontinence in older age. But pelvic health is much more than that—it’s the foundation of so many systems in your body.

Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles, ligaments, and tissues that support your bladder, bowel, and reproductive organs. These muscles affect everything from your core strength to your ability to control urine and bowel movements, to your sexual sensation and pleasure.

When something’s not working well, you might experience:

Leaking when you laugh, sneeze, or work out
A heavy or bulging feeling in your vagina
Pain during sex or when inserting a tampon
Lower back or hip pain that doesn’t go away
Trouble fully emptying your bladder or bowels
Low libido or hormonal imbalances

And yet, many women are told these symptoms are just part of life, aging, or motherhood.

The Gaps in Women’s Healthcare

In our interview, Kathy Kates doesn’t hold back when addressing one of the biggest issues in medicine today: the lack of pelvic health education in clinical training.

Most providers are not adequately trained in pelvic floor anatomy, how hormones influence pain and libido, or what it actually means to have a healthy pelvic floor. This leads to misdiagnoses, dismissal of symptoms, and patients feeling like their experiences are invalid or “all in their head.”

Kathy created Beyond the Kegel™ not only to help women understand their own bodies, but also to educate the clinicians who are supposed to be helping them. Her message is clear: you are the expert on your body—and you deserve care that listens to you.

What a Pelvic PT Exam Is Actually Like

One of the most common reasons people avoid addressing pelvic health issues? They don’t know what to expect from a pelvic physical therapy (PT) appointment—and they’re nervous it will be invasive or uncomfortable.

Here’s a quick breakdown of what typically happens in a pelvic PT evaluation:

Conversation First: A good pelvic PT starts with a detailed intake. They’ll ask about your symptoms, health history, birth experiences, bladder and bowel habits, sexual function, and more. Nothing is too personal—this is a judgment-free zone.
Posture and Movement Assessment: Your posture, breathing patterns, core engagement, and how you move are all connected to your pelvic health. The PT may observe how you sit, stand, squat, or breathe.
External Assessment: Before any internal exam, they may gently assess your abdomen, hips, and lower back. This helps them understand the bigger picture.
Internal Exam (Only If You Consent): If appropriate and with your full consent, they may perform an internal vaginal or rectal exam to check for muscle tone, trigger points, scar tissue, and prolapse. This is done with one gloved finger, and you are always in control. If you’re not ready or not comfortable, you can say no.
Personalized Plan: Based on the findings, they’ll create a care plan with exercises, lifestyle modifications, education, and hands-on techniques to help restore function and reduce symptoms.

Pelvic PT is for everyone—not just postpartum moms. It’s preventive care, recovery care, and vitality care all in one.

Reclaiming Body Autonomy Starts with Education

The most powerful part of our conversation with Kathy is her call to action—for both patients and providers. We need to stop settling for “fine” when our bodies are asking for more.

Here are a few key takeaways from the session:

“Normal” doesn’t mean optimal. You know your body better than anyone else.
Pain is not a requirement for being a woman. Discomfort during sex or periods is common, but it’s not normal.
Kegels are not a cure-all. In fact, for some people, they can make things worse. It’s about personalized, guided care.
Your provider should be your partner, not your gatekeeper. If you’re not feeling seen or heard, it’s okay to seek another opinion.

Watch the Full Session On Demand

If you’re ready to break free from dismissal, confusion, and silence around pelvic health, this conversation is for you.

Featuring Kathy Kates, FNP-BC, Nurse Practitioner and the creator of Beyond the Kegel™

Kathy Kates, FNP-BC is a respected nurse practitioner and the creator of Beyond the Kegel™, a groundbreaking pelvic health training for clinicians. After navigating her own health challenges—including breast cancer—Kathy dedicated her career to helping women (and their providers) break free from shame, silence, and subpar care.

Her work blends clinical precision with deep compassion, challenging outdated norms and opening doors to truly holistic pelvic, sexual, and hormonal health.

Fun Facts About Kathy

I met my husband while I was playing a concert and he was taking pictures (he’s a professional photographer).

My first career was as a professional oboe player! I attended the prestigious Curtis Institute of Music and have played nationally and internationally with many orchestras including the Boston Symphony, the Nashville Symphony, the Chicago Lyric Opera, and the Grant Park Symphony Orchestra.

Since the pandemic, I’ve had a standing Zoom coffee date every Saturday morning with 2 dear friends (one in Boston and one in Cleveland)

I have wanted a dachshund since traveling to Vienna in 8th grade and seeing them on every street corner. I have been lucky enough to be a dachshund mom to 2 dachshies: (Ophelia of blessed memory) and our sweet boy Ollie.

I helped my amazing daughter practice the cello nearly every day for 10 years! (she now does it on her own).

I created our online educational business during my co-founder’s daughter’s naps and in between my daughter’s cello practice.

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